Santa: Go and water the plants.
Servant: it's already raining.
Santa: So what? Take an umbrella and go.

”Darling” said Santa to his new bride. “Now that we are married ,do you think you can live on my small income?”. “Ofcourse dearest”, she replied. “But what will you live on?”

Santa threw his watch off the balcony of his house on the tenth floor. He ran downstairs and still managed to catch it. How did he do that? Because Santa’s watch is always ten minutes slow.

Santa checked his girlfriend’s mobile to know under what name she had saved his number. When he dialed his number form her phone, it showed “TIMEPASS NO. 8”

Santa is checking out of a hotel when suddenly he has to take a shit real bad. The toilet in his room doesn’t flush so he runs to the lobby to use the men’s room but none of the stalls are free. He runs back to his room ,uproots a plant and shits in the pot .Then he puts the plant back and leaves. A week later he gets a postcard from the hotel that says” Dear Sir……all is forgiven…..just tell us…….where is it?”

Once Santa brought his girlfriend home for dinner. This was her first time meeting the family so she was tremendously nervous. This along with the broccoli she ate gave her a little gas so she let out a small noiseless fart but it turned out to be loud enough for the family to hear. Right then Santa’s father shouted at the dog sitting next to her chair, “Ginger!”. She was relieved. Next time she let out a louder one and again Santa’s father shouted at the dog, “Ginger!” he said. Finally she let a really loud one out that sounded like a train whistle and the father said “Ginger!!!!! Move from there before she shits on you!!!”

Santa walks into a bar, sits down and orders a beer. As he sips the beer he hears a soothing voice say “nice tie”. He looks around and is baffled to see that there is no one there except him and the bartender at the other end of the room. A few sips later the voice says “beautiful shirt”.Santa panics and calls the bartender over and says “I must be losing my mind, I can hear these voices say nice things but there is no one else except you and me” , the bartender points to the table and says “oh it’s the peanuts , they are complimentary.

Thought for the day.

Nobody cares how much you know,until they know how much you care.

3 Iditos.

Aamir Khan has made such a unique mark in bollywood, it is actually said that where Aamir goes, success follows. It's something which Aamir himself has been harping about throughout the movie; excel in something and success follows. Don't chase success, success will chase you. Rancchoddas Shyamaldas Chanchad aka Rancho (Khan), Farhan Qureshi (Madhavan) and Raju Rastogi (Joshi) are three aspiring engineers, studying at the most prestigious engineering institute in India. Rancho is a guy whose good at heart and wishes to challenge the general thinking. Why do we study only for marks and not for knowledge? Why do our grades decide our future and not our brains? Raju, on the other hand, is scared of failure and in spite of having an excellent academic record, cannot keep up in the rat race and starts feeling the pressure. Farhan doesn't want to do engineering and is more interested in wildlife photography. Due to peer pressure, he is forced into doing something he never liked. The movie doesn't have any story as such, its just the daily happenings of three friends. The movie wishes to teach certain fundamental aspects in life, which society has conveniently made us forget and overlook. Do what your heart wants, chase excellence and not success and if anything goes wrong, just put your hand on your heart and say 'all is well' in a typical Indian accent. The movie is must watch for young students and their parents and a definite eye-opener. That said, the movie is not at all philosophical or boring as it may sound, its quite hip, happening and funny and you would find yourself craving for more. The movie characters have some hilariously funny names like Viru Shahastrabuddhe aka Virus (Irani) the college dean and Chatur Ramalingam aka Silencer (Vaidya). The movie is also inspired by the very famous book 'Five Point Someone' by Chetan Bhagat, but only losely. Aamir, Sharman and Madhavan may look a bit too old to play the role of under-graduate students, but I don't think anyone will mind.Thumbs up: LOL funny and yet highly educative

Amitabh Bachan

Son of well known poet Harivansh Rai Bachchan and Teji Bachchan. He has a brother named Ajitabh. He completed his education from Uttar Pradesh and moved to Bombay to find work as a film star, in vain though, as film-makers preferred someone with a fairer skin, and he was not quite fair enough. But they did use one of his other assets - his deep baritone voice - which was used for narration and background commentary. He was successful in being cast in Saat Hindustani. He got his break in Bollywood after a letter of introduction from the then Prime Minister Mrs. Indira Gandhi, as he was a friend of her son Rajiv Gandhi. This is how Amitabh made an entry in Bollywood, starting with Zanjeer, co-starred with his future wife-to-be Jaya Bhaduri, and since then there has been no looking back. He married Jaya Bhaduri, an actress in her own rights, he has two kids, Shweta and Abhishek. Shweta has been married, lives a non-filmy life and has a child. Being friends with Rajiv Gandhi, got him to decide to run for seat in the Congress from his hometown but had to leave midterm because of controversies, particularly after Rajiv and he were implicated in the now infamous "Bofors" case along with the U.K. based Hinduja Brothers. After a four year break, he was back in the unsuccessful Mrityudaata (1997), a comeback which the actor wanted to forget. Critics written him off but his career was saved with Bade Miyan Chote Miyan (1998). But four flops in 1999 and incurring debt of over 90 Crores rupees of his sinking company ABCL saw him at an all-time low. To make matters worse, after the defeat of the Congress party, Amitabh lost considerable political support, the opposition made him a target, and his credit rating deteriorated to such an extent that a leading nationalized bank, Canara Bank, sued him for outstanding loans. He did bounce back, presenting the Indian version of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire called "Kaun Banega Crorepati?" (2000). After a series of hits with Mohabbatein (2000), Kabhi Khushi Kabhie Gham... (2001) and Baghban (2003) and his most recent Khakee (2004), a 60 plus Bachchan is showing no signs of slowing down and proving the critics wrong once again.